Setting emotional boundaries is good for your mental health, and setting financial boundaries is good for your financial health. Your financial health is one of the pillars that make up your overall health, and being financially healthy needs to be a priority in your life.
Any woman who wants to be financially successful must master setting healthy boundaries around money. Because money is one of the emotionally charges subjects, setting and maintaining healthy boundaries for yourself may be challenging.
Women especially have a hard time setting boundaries since it’s ingrained in us that we are here to support our loved ones. Often for women, the same issues keep coming up around boundaries. Women need to help themselves create and maintain healthy boundaries with ease. That’s right, it doesn’t have to be hard—even when it comes to money.
Having strong financial literacy skills plays a part in managing your finances with confidence. Knowing what are financial boundaries is also an important part of your fulsome financial plan.
But what does financial health mean?
Financial health is a way to describe the state of a person’s financial affairs. Typical signs of strong financial health include a steady flow of income, rare changes in expenses, strong returns on investments, and a cash balance that is growing. Your financial health is reflected in your personal net worth.
Having a strong money mindset in business and personal financial management is a skill and tool that will not only help you make a lot more money, but will give you confidence in knowing your worth and setting strong financial boundaries.
What are financial boundaries?
Having boundaries means not only knowing and stating your preferences and limits around finances but also holding firm when they’re pushed up against.
All relationships have boundaries, boundaries are a way of protecting ourselves.
Types of financial boundaries
Setting financial boundaries in marriage is important to sustain a functional relationship with your spouse. Setting boundaries and ground rules when it comes to money and other parts of your marriage can help set it up for success. Knowing what are financial boundaries is the first step.
Types of financial boundary violations
A spouse that overspends
Gambling problems, bad habits, overspending – on each side, male or female – creates tension in a relationship. When you have made an agreement with your partner it is important, and essential, to uphold your end of that agreement. It is also just as important for your partner to uphold their end of the agreement.
When there are violations in agreements it leads to betrayal, resentment and so many other ill consequences.
People feel valued when they are respected, and to violate an agreement is essentially informing someone that their values are no longer important to you.
It can be painful, and financial infidelity is real.
A child who is constantly needing you to bail them out financially
As parents, we are responsible for providing for our children, but we are also responsible for setting them up for success. Raising financially independent children is part of being a good parent, and if you have a child who is constantly requiring financial bailouts, it may be time to consider some tough love.
After the legal age of 18, it is no longer your responsibility to financially care for your child, but many parents go beyond that age for caring for the financial needs of their children. But usually, to set them up for success, such as help them through school or give a large sum of cash as a gift towards the first purchase of a home.
But having your child financially depend on you is a recipe for disaster, and at some point, it is no longer your responsibility.
It’s ok to cut the cord and let them know it’s their time to get their own finances together, and you can enjoy your money for yourself. You’ve worked long and hard, and you have the right to enjoy it, guilt-free.
Family who expects you to share your financial success
In some family structures, it can be expected that if someone in the family has had financial success, that the money needs to be there to support second families, such as inlaws, aunts, uncles, cousins. However, this is not a fact. If you have worked hard to earn your money, it is your money to spend or invest as you desire. You do not owe it to anyone to support them financially, or otherwise.
This is a violation of boundaries, and it is not your responsibility to support others financially because you have had financial success.
Friends who expect you to pick up the tab
The same can be said for free-loading friends who believe that because you make more money than them then you are constantly expected to pick up tabs or pay for their meals and drinks and whatever your outings and get-togethers cost. It is not your responsibility to support them or pay their way. Knowing what are financial boundaries is important.
If there is a conflict in the budget there is no reason that you can’t meet them where they are at. Have friends over for potlucks and game nights. You can find budget-friendly outings where everyone can participate and still have a lot of fun.
Examples of healthy financial boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is an important part of establishing one’s identity and is a crucial aspect of mental health and well-being. Healthy boundaries are what they will and will not hold themselves responsible for. Setting boundaries is a way of letting others know how you expect to be treated. For example, expressing an emotional need that you have that requires another person’s participation is an example of a boundary.
Respect your needs
It’s important to know what your financial values are and that you align your financial plans and goals with them. When someone isn’t respecting your needs or you feel taken advantage of, this is a violation of boundaries and can build up resentment. You need to show people how to treat you by setting strong boundaries. Setting personal boundaries is a form of self-care and is mandatory to good mental and emotional health.
Set personal financial boundaries
When you know what your goals are you can assert them accordingly and ensure that you are putting your needs first. You have your values aligned to your financial goals and know what is important for financial achievements. Know what are financial boudnaries.
When sharing a life with a spouse you have a choice of combining finances or creating separate finances and contributing to the shared assets. Setting boundaries with a spouse can often be challenging if you are not on the same page, but it needs to be part of your value system.
Know your financial goals and values
When you know what you want you can be firm in your boundaries and understand that this is a form of self-care. There’s a reason why money is the most emotionally charged subject, so you need to honour your feelings and respect your needs. If your spouse or partner is making it difficult for you, or your financial values are not aligned, this may cause friction.
But it’s ok to set financial boundaries for what you want your financial landscape to look like. If it’s important to you to achieve your financial goals, you’ll need to be comfortable with setting those boundaries.
Seek emotional support
If you are having difficulty asserting your needs or setting boundaries, get emotional support from a valued friend or therapist. Sometimes it is a lot harder to set boundaries for yourself when they are not supported within your circle, so seeking that additional support and encouragement from outside sources will help you stand firm in your decisions and boundaries.
At some point, when boundaries are not respected by loved ones, you will have to make difficult choices in order to protect your mental health.
Know your worth
Whether in business or personal life, believing that what you have to offer is uniquely valuable will help you get crystal clear on the value of the services that you provide. On a fundamental level, no one can do exactly what you do. Meditate on this value. Understand this from different angles.
Once you have your clarity, you are less likely to undercharge or underappreciate your worth. Own your worth and communicate that worth to those around you, whether it be a spouse, family, friends or clients.
Master the art of negotiation
Negotiating for terms that don’t result in your overdelivering or overextending yourself is smart. Skillful negotiation signals that you are in charge and in control on what works best for you and what parameters will best serve you. Knowing and expressing your preferences, desires, and limits will help you avoid resentment down the line.
Clearly communicating proactive boundaries creates a foundation for a successful experience.
Never lend money
Loaning money, in both your personal and professional life, is a risky business. There’s a good chance that you will never see your hard-earned cash again. You could also end up in debt yourself and the strain could end a perfectly good relationship. Know what are financial boundaries.
When someone asks for financial assistance, tell them that you have a policy of not loaning money to family and friends—only giving it to them. If you can’t afford to give money away, get creative about how else you might add value to their struggle. You might let them know you’re not in a position to loan money, but you’ll happily be a sounding board if they need help figuring things out.
Don’t sacrifice your needs to make someone else happy
The biggest mistake that we as women make is putting other people’s happiness before our own, and that can cause resentment and hard feelings.
You need to fill your cup before you can give it to others freely.
Good financial boundaries vs poor financial boundaries
Sharing your life means to include sharing your financial goals with your partner. When choosing a life partner, it is important for you to be aligned with financial values. When you create a plan and work together towards those financial goals, it is more of a team. Respecting each other and living up to your end of the commitment is important in any relationship. Know what are financial boundaries.
Self-care when spouse isn’t meeting their end of the bargain
When your spouse or life partner isn’t meeting their end of the deal, it is important to take personal inventory and set your boundaries.
The bottom line is that when it comes to financial boundaries, overdelivering and being in a relationship where your partner isn’t meeting their obligation can be devastating. But the more you practice strengthening your boundaries, the easier growing your wealth will become.
